Love of An Orphan
Aideen
Vladimeer was a young child who grew up in an orphanage because of a terrible
incident, which his parents passed. This
all occurred one morning when Sally, Aideen’s mother wanted to go shopping and
Jimmy, Aideen’s father was going to go the jewelry store they both got into a
car accident. They were in New York for their fourth anniversary vacation. His
parent’s family members were not able to gain his custody because of health
issues. So, he was held in New York City.
From that moment and on he had
to live in an orphanage on Apple Street. This orphanage was known to be the
best institution in New York and because his parents were considered of high
class he stayed there. This institute was called Elmer Vlackin Orphanage,
because when he turned 18 the institution was shut down because of economic
problems. This building was made in 1400’s made of brick and formally
structured. It had one big window in front with an angel painted on it.
Anyone person who passed by
would think this building was a church.
It probably was meant to be used as a church. It looked so formal and
beautiful compared to the other buildings on Apple Street. Aideen liked living there, he had lots of
friends and elderly nuns. He never had anyone bully him or make fun of him. He
never really thought of his parents because he was really happy and full of
love. It was not until he grew up and he kept dreaming of his parents.
These dreams would not come
every night but he knew that it was his parents. He could feel his mother’s
hand on his shoulders and his father’s look when he disobeyed the nuns. Aideen
tried to look further and further into his background but was not able to get
any information. His long wait paid off because when he turned the age of
eighteen he found out everything he wanted to know. He found out his parents
were wealthy and loved him very much. He thought to himself many things.
Suddenly a nun walked in and told him, “What’s wrong dear?”
“ Nothing much.” He answered, “
I was thinking about my parents.”
“ Don’t mortify yourself with that, just
remember to always have them in your heart and never forget them.” She
responded.
Since, Aideen had turned eighteen it was time
for him to leave the orphanage. The nuns prepared him something special. They
had a go away party for him. He was prepared for the so called "real
word", so he thought. Then he realized that the nuns had painted a
different picture for him. They had said that life was all love, happiness and
joy but was it really? He learned the tough way. He had to degrade
himself to live decently. But as the time went by he became a tall, well built,
handsome young man. He was coming close to his 24th birthday and did not have a
girlfriend, even though he was very attractive, no friends or family who he
could spend it with.
The only thing he had truly accomplished
was working at Film Mark Productions as the co-director of Glasnost
Electronics. Aideen has an ex co-worker who he once in a while talks to
named Marcuz Escobar. Marcuz use to work in Film Mark Productions but was fired
for committing three acts of fraud. Marcuz is a short, chubby man with red-rosy
cheeks. He is always playing pranks on people, and mostly lives off of other
peoples money. He tries to take Aideen's money in any chance he has. One time
the went to go eat at a fancy restaurant, Marcuz invited Aideen. When the tab
came, Aideen said, "I'll wait for you in the car."
Aideen replied,"But I thought...
okay."
Aideen was use to this treatment, he always let
everyone step all over him. But, this was about to change. One day Marcuz
did the same thing and Aideen refused to pay it was like something clicked in
him and he took a 360 degrees view on everything. He became selfish, ignorant
and rude. He was tired of all the maltreatment. Aideen was sure he would only
look out for himself now. Until he met Emily Marie. Emily Marie works as a
teacher assistant on Bran Street, three streets down from where the
orphanage he grew up in was. She is twenty-six years old and has no children.
After meeting with her a couple of times he started to really like her.
Aideen would by her flowers and have them sent
to her work. Emily really did not like him because he was younger than him and
her father always said that the man she marries has to be a not only Hispanic
like her but have his head set. Unfortunately Aideen is not hispanic, he is
French. Emily and Aideen were separated for 3 years because Emily went to go
study in California. When she came back she came with her 15 month old son.
Aideen was destroyed by this. He had waited three long years for her. He judge
her and told her horrible things. All Emily did was cry, cry and cry. Emily
told him, " One day you will find out the reason...."
" The reason for what?, the reason you
broke my heart and you left with another man." He cried.
" While I sat and cried every night for
you." He yelled harder.
You could see the pain that Emily felt when he
yelled at her. Tear after tear. Her breathing was so intense, that she could
barely speak. Her son looked at her and had no clue of her pain. Emily tried to
explain but Aideen did not want to hear. He was so hurt he looked away.
Question after question but no answers. It seemed as if Aideen was done yelling
at her until he said one last thing that completely broke down Emily.
" I regret ever meeting you, go back to
California and do what you know best...sleeping with men." ,He said.
"I can't believe I ever put my eyes on
you!" Aideen hollered.
Emily never thought this would happen, she
thought to herself ,"What happen to the Aideen I knew?" Emily went to
his condo several times to try to explain to him what had happened. Aideen
never answered the door. On February 5, he did. Which was a surprise to Emily,
her son was now about to turn two in one week. Aideen let her in and told her
to take a seat in a rudely manner. So she did. Emily started to explain she had
been raped. Aideen was so surprised by her tragic inccident. Her begged her on
his knees for forgiveness.
Emily continued with her story and Aideen become
more and more sorry. She said she could not forgive, because she was sure that
he would accept her s she was , but he did not. Joseph, Emily's son walked and
ran all around the living room while they talked. You could see Joseph's blonde
curly hair shine when the reflection of the sun glared at his hair. Suddenly
Joseph turned around and asked Emily, " Mommy is this daddy?".
"Uuummm, No Joseph, this is a friend of
mine." She explained with tears in her eyes.
Aideen turned and answered," Yes, I
am!"
Joseph ran to him with such joy. While he ran
one of his blue dinosaur sandals fell off, but he paid no attention. Aideen
felt such joy that he could not hold back his tears. Emily ran to him and said,
"Thank you Aideen!".
"Emily I always loved you!", He cried
to her.
Emily and Aideen married soon
after and time went by and Joseph turned five, ten, twenty. Emily and Aideen
were getting older. Now they were going to celebrate there fifty year
anniversary. They were still the lovely and beautiful couple they were
fifty-five years ago just with a few more wrinkles.
I thought your story was good. Most of it was bunched up though. You need to fix the grammar. A lot of the organization and structure of the story wasn't positioned right. Once fixing it, it'd make more sense. Your audience was apparent. The voice in the story was easily found. All in all, I liked this story and good job Melissa! :)
ReplyDeleteTHANKS JACOB I WAS TRYiNG TO SHORTEN iT BECAUSE THE MAX WAS SUPPOSE TO BE 1200 WORDS. I CUT SO MANY THINGS OUT BU THANKS FOR THE ADVICE .
ReplyDeleteThe story was good, it was just rushed. Some parts were kind of irrelevant like explaining about the orphanage and the friend Marcuz. The meaning i guess would be dont be so quick judge or assume things. The organization was kind of confusing. the ending was really good,I would just consider changing up the beginning a bit.
ReplyDeleteOKAY THAT+NKS SHAYLA A REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERNS AND COMMENTS.
ReplyDeleteTHANKS*
ReplyDelete